"So what do you do?" "Who me? I write blog posts about how I don't like being asked what I do."

I had a conversation last night about what I wrote about in my previous post. We talked about the struggle I have with the "what do you do?" question, and in the context of the discussion I was having, it came across as some combination of arrogant, privileged, and idealistic. This was coming from someone who grew up without many resources and has been career-driven from an early age in order to make a better life for herself. From her point of view, I totally see why what I was saying could come across negatively. It's easy (in a way) for a person like myself who grew up in a financially stable environment to say, "well, a career just isn't for me." I can also see it being offensive for me to say that I don't like it when people automatically give or expect an explanation of their job when people ask them what they do when your career is something you are proud of and have worked very hard to achieve.

This conversation was kind of a slap in the face for me, but I also appreciated it. I appreciate being called out when I say something ignorant or not fully thought through. I think that through this conversation, I was able to refine a little bit how I express what I'm feeling. First of all, none of what I'm saying has to do with anyone else other than me. Maybe you relate, maybe you don't, but what I'm writing about are the things that I'm struggling with and navigating. I'm trying to figure out what's right for me, and I'm not trying to judge the path anyone else chooses to take.

Second, what I have qualms with is not strictly being identified by your job or profession. As was pointed out to me last night, people's last names used to be given to them based on their profession. This has been going on for a long time. What I'm questioning is the belief that by eschewing the traditional career trajectory, you're writing yourself a one-way ticket to shitsville. I know it's easy to question that when you've never lived in shitsville, but I guess I've never been that good at taking other people's word for things. If tomorrow morning I wake up with the revelation that I want to go to med school, then I'll go to med school and begin my career as a doctor, but whatever I want to do, I want to do because it's what I want, not because it's what's expected of me. Having this choice is a crazy privilegd choice to have, but I don't know if I can do it any other way.

Third, a lot of this is my shit. I want my family and freinds to respect what I do, and I want to get cool-kid ponts for what I do, but when it comes down to it, I'm not going to be happy with anything I do if I don't feel confident in my decision to do it. Also, no job, or life for that matter, is all sunshine and roses, and sometimes you just have to pick something and stick with it and make that work for you until a better opportunity presents itself. I think that I have a fear of commitment stemming from the worry that once committed to something, I'm in it forever, and I blind myself to the potential opportunities for growth. And I worry that I'm just mediocre in general and if I act like I'm "searching for my path," I'll be able to avoid coming face to face with my own mediocrity. But that's a topic for another post. (sorry to end on a bummer-note)

xo,
mj