What am I doing writing a blog post at 5:30 AM, especially when just a mere 4 hours ago I wrote that I had to be on the upper east side at 6:00 AM, you may ask? Well let me tell you a story. It is a story of a man I have never met and now appear likely to never meet. This man's name I believe is Brandon. Brandon was supposed to make his debut for our company driving a truck full of food from Goshen, NY to the city, where he would be meeting me at the aforementioned time of 6 AM to deliver said food. Brandon apparently decided that he did not want to do any of this, triggering a chain of events that involved me getting a phone call from my boss at 4:45 informing me that our new driver never showed up, me calling my coworker up in Goshen who was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and me again talking to my boss and concluding that the only reasonable solution to this mess would be for me to drive the hour and a half up to Goshen to get the abandoned truck, drive the hour and a half plus morning traffic getting into the city back, deliver the food about 4 hours late and then drive the hour and a half plus evening traffic getting out of the city back to Goshen to drop off the truck and pick up the car then drive the hour and a half back into the city. Luckily, I don't have to do this. The thought of this made me want to poke my eyes out. Actually, where I'm currently at is wanting to poke my eyes out, the thought of the previous situation made me want to poke my eyes out, stick them back in my head, squeeze lemon juice directly into my eyes, then poke them out again. So here I am, now at 5:43, waiting to hear from mysterious driver #2 of the day to call me in about two hours to say that he is getting into the city. To borrow from the lovely jeffrey beaumont (who was in turn borrowing from me) this shit is deprarious. Fucktactically so.
It's pretty amazing. I have now been at this job for around 6 months, and the amount of hellish scenarios that have popped up has been constant. I have managed to put myself in a situation where I combine the physical stress and exertion of a blue-collar job with the getting-by-by-the-skin-of-our-teeth-plus-low-pay-ness of the most dysfunctional non-profit. I'm sure there is something here about myself that I am supposed to be learning in relation to the amount of crazy I invite into my life and put up with, but I'm not quite sure what the lesson is other than I need to stop being an idiot with a martye complex and pursue some semblance of normalcy that will provide me with the perks of life like not being called at quarter to 5 in the morning with terrible crises or not having to be up and driving a large vehicle for 24-36 hours straight. I guess that is probably the lesson.
***Update: Just received a call from my boss that mystery driver #2 lives an hour away from Goshen, not the 20 minutes he had been told by the driver. Fucking great.***
The good news is that I now probably will not have to be in the city until 9 AM at the earliest. The bad news is that I will now be driving through midtown in the middle of the morning, delivering to angry customers, and not getting done until well into the early evening.
A list of some of the other deprarious situations this job has presented to me:
- The time a different new driver was supposed to pick up our rental truck in New Jersey and pick up goods from a farm in PA. He arrived at the rental spot, deemed the rental spot unsafe for his really nice car, and promptly left, causing me to have to take the truck out to PA four hours behind schedule.
***Update #2: Just got a call from the boss. Mystery driver #2 is a no-go. Driving up to Goshen. Fuck. My. Life.***
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2 comments:
Seriously dude, it's quit city time the moment you can get anything that is higher paying.
my heart was seizing with anxiety just reading this. a few blog posts on your job is working harder than anything to dispel all my romantic notions of the isolationist glories of being a truck driver.
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