Back In the Driver's Seat

So. I've taken a long break from this thing. Lately I've been in a general state of bummed out-ness, and the part of my brain that is very conscious of the things that are good for me and pull me out of a funk would say to me, "Mark, you like writing and it makes you feel better, you should really start writing on your blog again." But then the part of my brain that is very conscious of the futility of things such as throwing your words out into the wide open world and tends to feel defeated before getting started would respond, "But Mark, what's really the point? Is anything your writing really going to be that valuable?" would speak up, and of course I would listen to it. And then today I got an e-mail from my friend and nerd basketball teammate Katie telling me that she had just read my old blog posts and inquiring if I would be taking it up again, and while I pride myself on being a self-motivator and not needing outside influence to do anything, having someone say to me that I should keep doing this provided the impetus I needed to get back on the blogging train. Because I like doing it, and if other people read it and enjoy it or get something from it, total bonus. So, thanks Katie.


Looking back on my last couple of posts, it seems like I'm in much the same place as I was in March, which is a little depressing, but also revealing in a way that I'm sure I can make good for me if I take the time to process it enough. But there have certainly been changes. For starters, I'm now a truck driver. If only I still owned any hipster trucker hats, I could wear them with occupation-appropriate sincerity. I work for a company delivering farm goods from farms in the area (spanning from eastern Pennsylvania to Upstate New York) to restaurants and markets in the city. It's an interesting social experiment to pay attention to the different reactions you get when you respond to the What Do You Do (hereafter known as WDYD) with "I bring local farm-fresh food to the city," vs. "I drive a truck." The responses are often, "Oh, that's awesome" or just, "oh..." respectively. The type of person I'm looking to hang out with is the one who gives me a high five either way.

I was about to keep writing a bunch more, but got hit by a wave of sleepiness and I have to be on the upper east side at 6 AM, so I think it's quitting time, but I'm ready to re-enter the world of writing shit about my life that at the least will prove therapeutic for me and at the most will provide some amount of interest and entertainment to the world of the interweb.

xo,
mj